Hi guys, sorry I’m a day late! I partook in some jollies on Saturday, and as a result wasn’t feeling terribly bloggy on Sunday!
As you have all seen from last weeks post this month so far has been pretty uninspiring stuff, low volume of games and non existent profit, although atleast I was breaking even and not losing a ton (I know of guys going through $2k swings this month, so I must try not to complain about breaking even!)
After this ropey BE start to the month I wasn’t going into last week feeling terribly confident about my own ability and generally was feeling a bit rubbish, but I soldiered on, I played pretty much every day although I did cut some sessions short (monkey tilt) and had some other commitments which meant I couldn’t play quite as much.
If I’m being honest, the entire week felt like an absolute train wreck fro start to finish, although Tuesday or Wednesday had some soft $15s that I felt I did OK in. I was convinced I had been running badly, playing worse and losing a ton of money. As you can probably imagine going through 4-5 days of thinking this way and being that negative and stressed did a number on my ability to be objective and really see how I was playing and judge how the week was going. So much so, that by the time Friday arrived I was steaming before I even loaded the first games up. But this passed and I kept playing, then BOOM! Uber insane monkey tilt set in at about 3pm on Friday……
I stopped playing, I quit the strategy chartrooms I belong to on Skype (I do this now and again when I can feel the tilt and rage building to the point where I will start ranting and imposing my shitty feelings on any poor soul that happens to be in the chat room) and that was it until today (Monday) I didn’t check my weeks results, and I didn’t speak to anyone about poker, and as far as I was concerned I had probably lost about $300+ and (poker) life was pretty craptacular.
So, I’m sure you are all wondering what happened…..did I lose it all…..how much did I lose, is there any hope, is there a dealer button at the end of the tunnel…. will I rise from the ashes like a lanky ginger phoenix once more…
This weeks breakdown:
Games: 292 (low volume but could be worse given the tilt issues)
Coaching/Review: 1/2 (boo not enough review)
The really sik thing about this week was Friday, I was so consumed by tilt that I quit the session in the middle of a $140 up swing. In my mind I was getting pwned and losing every hand, which to be fair had been happening from game 122 – 267, but was not an accurate picture of how I was doing at that moment in time.
So…what conclusions can we draw here?
1) I am still not as in control of my mental game as I had thought recently. I think I’m going to reread The Mental Game of Poker, and speak with my coach more about this.
2) My ability to judge my game and results is pretty piss poor even when not tilted, but even more so when I am. So I really need to try not to think about my perceived results while playing.
3) The George Formby Grill would be an infinitely more entertaining kitchen device.
That’s all folks, see you next week, I hope you all have a great week at the tables/the office desk/wherever you work 🙂